This month B and I are to make sure that the best man and maid of honor know their duties and what is expected of them. I didnt know you had to spell it out for them. In reading over what each should do, I am again reminded of the gender divide and how litle is expected of the groom and even his entourage.
What follows is the best man's list as seen on theknot.com (along with my commentary):
1. Serve as the groom's personal aide and adviser before and during the wedding. This can include helping him pack for the honeymoon (the valet part). - What is he going to pack his underwear for him?
2. Help the groom choose and rent (or buy) wedding formalwear, and coordinate the other groomsmen's rentals. You guys are supposed to match, after all! You may be expected to arrange accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen. - I guess if the girls have a say in their dress the guys should too.
3. It's your job to corral the other groomsmen and make sure they're performing their duties. - Can you delegate if you want? Is that allowed?
4. Organize the bachelor party. Don't be shy about enlisting other groomsmen to help you out -- most guys don't mind this duty! Put financial worries out of your mind -- the cost should be split among everyone who attends the bash. - B isn't having one. Okay, that is wishful thinking on my part but that is why I want my brothers and his dad to go. And I will be occupying myself immensely that weekend.
5. Attend the rehearsal with the bride and groom and all the other attendants. This is your chance to figure out how you're supposed to walk down that aisle. - Learn how to walk, that shouldn't be a challenge...
6. Stand beside the groom at the altar and keep the bride's ring until vows are exchanged. Find a safe place for the ring (and triple check that your pockets don't have holes) -- you don't want to fumble around when it's time to whip it out. - Actually add the groom's ring as well, Ann will have enough to do in dealing with me.
8. Corral the other groomsmen and make sure they're performing their duties. - Isn't this the same as number 3? Are the other groomsmen just out of control at this point?
9. Sign the marriage license as a witness after the ceremony, along with the maid of honor. - Another one that shouldn't be a problem.
10. Give the officiant a sealed envelope with his or her fee (the groom's responsibility) just after the ceremony. - Do priests charge? If so, what is the going rate?
11. You may be announced with the maid of honor when the reception begins. - But what if he is not, what the heck does he do then oh mighty list? Answer that one. And I don't know if we will be announcing the bridal party.
12. Dance with both the honor attendant and the bride during the wedding party dances. - Do I have to? Ann is a grown woman and I am not going to force her to dance with anyone.
13. Give the first toast to the bride and groom at the reception. This is your biggest -- and probably most frightening -- duty. Read our article about toasting, and remember the cardinal rule: Mum's the word on the bachelor bacchanalia. - WTF went on during the bachelor party? What isn't anyone telling me?
14. Collect any gift envelopes guests bring to the reception. You may be asked to deposit them in the couple's bank account or at least to keep them until the couple returns from their honeymoon. - I don't even let B know my PIN and now Gerard is going to deposit money into our account? Hell no! We will deposit our own money thank you very much. And this isn't 1960, you need id and stuff to deposit money.
15. Decorate the getaway mobile. Grab the other groomsmen and the bridesmaids for this one. - We are not having a getaway mobile so no need for this one.
16. Drive the couple to the wedding-night hotel or airport after the reception. If you perform this service, you'll need to stay sober throughout the reception. If you have a feeling this may not be possible, hire a limo to drive the couple into the sunset. - Staying sober throughout the night is an improbability so we will be taking a cab. Plus I am sure he wouldn't want to give up his parking spot.
So the best man has to tell the other groomsmen what to do, learn to walk, write his name, dance and party. Not too hard...
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4 comments:
make sure the bachelor party is not
the night before the wedding. you don't want to start the wedding with half the bridal party hung over.
you don't need ID to deposit money, just to withdraw. The bank is more than happy to take it from whoever's offering. You should make him do it.
our "convocation of vows" or 2nd wedding that required an additional marriage license to ensure our marriage was recognized by the catholic church cost over $400. You may want to confirm with your church that there is no such expected charge or tip or fee/donation for receiving the sacrament. Maybe our charge was their way of punishing us for marrying first outside of the walls of the church.
B should no cost he worked there for years. and I am most worried about signing the certificate have you ever seen G's writing?
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