Picture Afterthought

In the end the picture turned out lovely. I have a copy, Ann does and B's parents. But I would like to point out that I have mentioned to Ann on several occasions over several years that she did not have any pictures of me in her home. Now I get that most of the pictures she has up will be of her own children and not herfavorite sister. But there shouldbe at least one picture so she doesn't forget what I look like (and yes, I have pictures of her in my apartment). She made mention that she may get a copy for her house which means it took me 31 years to get a picture up and only 4 for B. That is if she even got a copy for herself. Seriously Ann I am just asking for one picture. I will be happy with a wallet size, somewhere in the corner. Anything.

Don't Touch B's Face

As I mentioned in the last post, we asked the photographer not to touch B's face. Here is the story about how we learned B didn't like his face touched.

My nephew had his first communion over in Ireland in May and B and I went (as did my brothers). Since B and I had gotten engaged two weeks earlier (he purposely did it before we went although my family members who knew a proposal was coming thought it was going to take place in Ireland), my sister wanted to give us an engagement gift. But didn't know what to give us since whatever the gift was, we would have to travel with it. She decided to give us an engagement photo. She had one done before her wedding and they called it a "Love Portrait". I am not sure how B will take it since we both don't like the pictures that are taken to just show off the ring. My sister asks me if we want one and I say "Sure but you need to tell B. He won't say no if you tell him." So she asks if it would be okay if she gifts us an engagement photo and B of course accepts.

On the day of the communion, my sister had Ryan's picture taken as well as ones of her family. In addition, Ann, Rich, Bill and myself had a family portrait taken (this picture was 25 years in the making) and last we would have the Love Portrait taken. We arrive in Dundalk (I think) and wait in the lobby for our appointment. We are summoned up the stairs and into another waiting area but this one had seats and Irish wedding magazines. About 10 minutes later, the door opens and out walks the photographer. He is indescribable. He is maybe five feet tall, barefoot, and dressed all in white like a dentist. Several of us stifle a laugh. Ryan goes in and has all his pictures taken (and looks dashing in them by the way) and then the rest of the family follows. Once they are done, Ann, Rich, Bill and I enter and take our pictures. At this point, I have started to laugh uncontrollable (and unlike me in the priest's office and the Republican club, others are laughing with me). We take a few pictures and then it is Love Portrait time.

B comes into the room while the photographer (who is the closest thing to a leprechaun we have ever seen) sets up to take our photos. Ann stays in the room with us - I think she was the director of the photo shoot but I could be wrong. So the photographer begins to position us and it is okay. Because I am still laughing I am sure some of the takes are awful. However, I somehow pull myself together and he takes a few pictures. Though he doesn't just take them. He stands on these foot stools (because he is on the shorter side) and looks the lens while saying "I'm watching. I'm watching. I'm watching" and then click photo taken. Um, ok. This just adds to my laughing fit. And seriously, Ann is laughing too. It was not just me though I don't think she had tears streaming down her face between takes like I did. But still. She was laughing too.

For one of the last set of pictures taken, the photographer comes in to reposition us (and I am laughing while he does this as well) and he moves my hand around and asks me to tilt my head. Then he looks at B and begins to reposition him...by touching his face. B doesn't like it and I think at this point he is ready to be out of there. But we take some photos. I don't know if it is a guy think or what. But because of that, we asked Sarah not to touch his face. Luckily, her style is photojournalism and she minimizes her interaction with the picture's subjects.

I ought to be in pictures

At first B did not care about the photographer and pictures were not (and still may not be) important. However, they are important to me because once the day is done, the pictures will be all we have as a reminder of that day. Yes - we will have the memories but B is very forgetful (except when it comes to sports stats then he is like Rainman, seriously).

Someone on one of the web sites I visit wrote (I am paraphrasing) that you really want to click with the photographer's personality since you will be spending all day with him/her and that for the most part, they are a good photographer.

We actually found our photographer pretty quickly and with no hiccups.

So again I take a ride on the trusty Internet Super Highway and compile a list of area photographers that various brides to be are using. I begin to email fervently. Unlike reception sites, photographers got back to me quickly - some within minutes. B and I reckon it is because the competition is greater and there is less variance among photographers. With photographers we were looking for a photographer and at least an assistant who also shoots film, all the proofs, and ownership of the files/negatives. That was the set of basic criteria we were looking for. Oh and also within our budget. Based on the feedback from the brides online and the wedding packages, we narrowed it down to two photographers - one really as the other was a possible back up in case we didn't like the one in person.

On one of our wedding planning trips to New York, we went to visit the lady who would become our photographer. And while I not just scour the Internet for feedback and reviews, I also like to see what other information I can find. So before going to her studio, I knew that she worked as a public school teacher in New York City and had done a recent photo piece on the election of Sikhs in city government entitled "Fighting Prejudice with Votes: Sikhs in New York". So I felt that I liked her already.

We met her in her Union Square studio and she asked us the preliminary but necessary questions - where, when and how many. We looked through her books and some of the pictures I had seen on her web site but it was great to see them in real life. We discussed some of the things we were looking at and gave her the one thing B must have the photographer NOT do, and that is touch his face (more to come on this in another post). She laughed with that request but said that she would not touch his face. We found her demeanor and personality to be laid back, she wasn't trying to sell us anything or try to tell us how this one day will be the most amazing day of our lives and no day will be better. (I know that all the fairy tales end with the princess getting married, but I will be really annoyed if on the best day of my life I have to wear make up and not have my hair in a pony tail. I am just saying.) Based on what I wanted, we went with an a la carte pricing because her packages all came with extras that I didn't want or need. She was easy to talk to and even gave out a little book of her work and style. What I liked most about the book is that it gives examples of what different types of printing and paper look like. So I can now see the difference between a glossy photo or a matte or what metallic prints look like.

We drove home to Boston right after our meeting and when I got to a computer I sent her an email saying that we would like to book her. So far she has been great and fine with the date change.

So without further adieu, our photographer is Sarah Tew. (Click on her name to visit her web site).

The Alcohol Debate

The debate is not whether or not to serve or whether or not it is an open bar. Rather, we were deciding between buying our own alcohol or having the vendor provide it. While we selected a caterer that didn't even allow us to buy our own, we had decided against it before the tasting. We thought that even though the monetary savings are considerable, the logistics of everything was too much for us (mainly me, even though it would probably fall under B's list of responsibilities).

We would have had to:
a) figure out how much of every kind of alcohol to purchase - though I did find this drink calculator from evite. Although when I put the information, the quantities seemed low but I don't know if that is a flaw in the calculator or in our guests.
b) coordinate delivery no more than two hours before the start of the ceremony
c) have all left over/unused alcohol removed that night

In the end, we figure it is best to leave it to the caterer as they will know how much to bring and will need to figure something out on the off chance we run out. I have seen a wedding run out of beer before so don't tell me it can't happen.

The Food

With the reception site selected, we now had to search for a caterer. Luckily or unluckily, the Picnic House has a list of exclusive caterers you have to use. Actually, I would later find out that you can go off the list if the caterer has proof of insurance and you put down an extra security deposit.

So the list has the following caterers on it:
2nd St. Café & Catering
Ben Kohen Kosher Catering
Bon Soir
Brenton Catering

Charles Susswein Caterer
The Cleaver Company
Exotic Foods, Inc.

FEAST Caterers
Jacques Exclusive Caterers
La Cuisine
Main Event Caterers
Movable Feast
Naturally Delicious
Prima Donna Catering
Raging Skillet

Salsa Catering
Sage American Catering
Simply Divine (Kosher)
Spoonbread, Inc.
Steve Brown Caterers

Plenty of options for us to find one we like and in our budget. We were looking for sit down service, cocktail hour and four-hour reception, and an open bar for five hours. I started by visiting the web sites of the caterers. And I also scoured the Internet for reviews of those I was interested in. I narrowed the list down to:
Bon Soir
Jacques Exclusive Caterers
Movable Feast
Naturally Delicious
Raging Skillet

So I began the daunting task of contacted all of these places to get a rough idea about how much the food, plates, linens, rentals, beverages, and servers would cost. At this initial stage it would prove to be quite difficult. Each place has a different way of quoting prices so it was difficult to compares apples to apples - some include a per server price but don't tell you how many you will need while some give you a per person charge that includes servers. Some even had a difficult giving us a ballpark estimate without having a menu in hand.

Naturally Delicious never got back to me after a phone call and an inquiry submitted through their web site. I guess they have better things to do. So we crossed them off the list.

The Raging Skillet receives great reviews and is said to work with most budgets. They sounded promising. However, when talking to them it was hard to get a ballpark price given the information we knew at that time which was basic - estimated number of people, date, sit down dinner, open bar. I kept them as an option but thought their initial ball park figure was a bit high though they do do a lot of events at the Picnic House.

Moveable Feast also has a great reputation but they said they would send me costs and all I got was an information packet. I figured from the web site and the information sent that they were a bit too much for me.

Bon Soir would allow us to bring in our own alcohol which could be a huge savings. But they were difficult in getting information and trying to set up a tasting. Being that we are in Boston and we have limited time on these trips, I can't be bothered with even a slightly difficult vendor. However, we kept them on the back burner in case we needed to talk with them.

While Jacques would not allow us to purchase the alcohol for insurance purposes (they didn't want their bartenders serving alcohol not purchased by them) they did have a pricing structure that was like a traditional wedding place - flat per person rates. This was what we needed as we could understand these kinds of costs more. Also it was easier to see if they fit within our budget. So far - Jacques was leading the race. We went to a "tasting" in Staten Island and the food was good but it was just a few trays of food and I was expecting a bit more. Also there main offices are in New Jersey and we would have to go out there to have a discussion about price and options; unfortunately we did not have time for that this trip. Also at the time that we tasted Jacques food, we did not really understand that the caterers have a mobile kitchen that they set up in the Picnic House (remember no kitchen) and we were perplexed about how a place with kitchens in New Jersey was going to serve me warm medium rare prime rib (according to Aimee the wedding coordiantor the prime rib is fantastic).

It is after we went to the tasting on Staten Island that we looked into the other caterers on the list that I did not contact. Also it is then that I found out you could go off the list. I begin emailing with a bride-to-be that is using Corinne's Concepts in Catering (not on the list) for her Picnic House wedding. She entered into a contract with them after Jacques gave her the run around and wouldn't honor the price she negotiated with one of the wedding coordinators (who had left Jacques - I do not know the decision was Jacques or the coordinator's). Also, Corinne's got good reviews on one of the wedding web sites I visit frequently. So I begin the price game with them as well. They have an interesting web site. You basically select your menu and submit a proposal to them and then they send the pricing back. Corinne's is also a place where we could purchase the alcohol and they would provide the ice, mixers, and bartenders.

In the email exchange with the other bride-to-be she tells me that she went to FEAST's tasting in Hudson Valley and while it was a long way to drive, the food was awesome. This intrigues us. I begin the dance with them as well. FEAST does not allow us to purchase the alcohol but they called back when they said they would - I liked them already. They sent us an informational packet that had dates of upcoming tastings. We quickly confirmed our attendance at one in late August. AFter a shaky start, we drive three and a half hours to Washingtonville, NY. It was a long drive but we finally were at the tasting. They first showed us the grounds which were beatuiful but not an option. Because we were looking for outside catering, we had to speak to Peter one of the main guys there. But while we waited we began to sample the fare - and it was all good. We sampled sixteen hors d'oeuvres. Of the sixteen, only one item received two thumbs down (see the sheet below of the "notes" I took during the tasting). After each item was tasted, I would mark my opinon and B's. While it sounds dorky, it was quite helpful as all the food became a blur.

The food was so filling that we turned down the chocolate covered strawberries and other pastries they came around with at the end. We eventually talked with Peter and found him to be very accommodating and flexible. He was honest about the fact that they only do a few weddings a year at the Picnic House but want to more. So after some negotiating, we came up with a fair price for the day that includes all the service, alcohol, rentals, and food. We had a contract drawn up right on the spot.

We are excited to be working with FEAST because they have been so responsive, professional, provide amazing food and service. However, we found another reason to love them (or rather B did) - Peter and most of his staff are rabid Mets fans. We even were taken up to the office and shown the pictures they have from the 1969 World Series and heard about the bets each year that are placed with the vendors that are Yankee fans. In fact, B mentioned that he should have written the deposit check so he could have sent him one of his NY Mets checks (yes they do sell official MLB licensed checks with the Mets logo).

The Reception Site Selection

So we have narrowed it down to the NYC Fire Museum and the Prospect Park Picnic House.


Considerations they have in common:

1) A caterer is needed

2) At least some rentals (tables and chairs) are necessary

3) Both are not typical reception sites

4) Neither has a coat room



NYC Firemuseum:

Pros:

1) Has a small kitchen and prep area
2) Has nice brick walls
3) Museum is kept open during the party
4) Comes with a real NYC fireman to act as security at the entrance


Cons:
1) Near a heavy traffic area
2) You cannot take pictures on the antique firetrucks
3) Everything has to be rented
4) On the smaller side (in terms of square footage)


Prospect Park Picnic House:
Pros:
1) Comes with round tables and chairs
2) More space and high ceilings
3) Patio area overlooking the park
4) Quick drive from church to reception


Cons:
1) Public area around the Picnic House can be used by anyone
2) No kitchen, just large prep area that is curtained off


Because I am not good at visual/depth perception I undertook a craft project to help us decide. I had both venues send me a floor plan. Then I cut out, to scale mind you, circles to represent 60' round tables and placed them where I would want tables. This is what I had in the end:


If 10 people sat at each table, we would need about 15 tables. Clearly the Picnic House has more room. When you add the horrendous traffic we encountered going to the Fire Museum, the Picnic House became the clear winner.

Now we would have to find a caterer...

Search for the Reception Site - Part III

So the third time we went reception site hunting, we were visiting three places: one I found, one B found, and one the head huntrer place found.

I was excited to visit the head hunter found one because I knew it was in our price range and I had read on certain blogs that it was hard to get someone to call you back and schedule a visit. I had a visit scheduled without even trying. Now this place is called 3 West Club as its address is 3 West 51st Street. It is right across from St. Patrick's Cathedral. Now, it is at this point that I will ask my aunts to stop reading for a few paragraphs and pick it back up a few paragraphs down. You see, the owners of this building have a difference in opinion with my mother's entire family. 3 West Club is a private club for the National Republican's Women Club of New York (please don't tell Grandma). I figure the least the Republican's can do is give me a good price on my wedding reception. However, to get over the difference in political beliefs I needed to really like the place. Also, we took B's mom with us to visit this place but left out the republican part and she saw the sign before we entered so I realized others would notice. And here we are met by Klaus (he told me he is like Madonna and only goes by one name) who is the cutest, funniest event managerwe met with. I loved him. We visited the Solarium which has a balcony with a view of the Cathedral - the bad news is that our guest l ist is probable too large for us to use this room. This is a bummer since that view was a major selling point to us. The other problem was that when you stepped out of the elevator, you were greeted with a large, and I mean large, potrait of a smiling Ronald Reagan circa 1986. The picture is centered with the elevator doors and when I saw it, I started to laugh. Luckily, the pictures of Ronnie and the Bushes can be removed. We go into the main reception area and it is on the smaller size. I think it is slightly larger than Moran's and it has lighter walls and a higher ceiling. The menu looks good and the price is good but in the end, I don't think it is the best place for us given the political leanings of the building.


The other place we visited with B's mom was the NYC Fire Museum which is located in an old fire house and the museum is open throughout the whole reception. We thought this was a kind of cool and different reception site. Before entering it we did find one snag - a lot of traffic as it is near the Holland Tunnel. So for those driving it could be a nightmare but our firends would love being in SoHo after the reception ends. The museum had really nice brick walls but it is T-shaped and I worried about flow. I also had some reservations about fitting our guest list in the space. It became a major contender. However, an outside caterer is needed for this space.












The other place we saw is the Prospect Park Picnic House in Brooklyn. We drive down Fourth Avenue (the same route we ran for the Marathon) and park outside the park. I notice that parking may be a problem in this neighborhood but we did find a spot on Prosect Park West near the entrance. (All the places in Manhattan had paid lots near by.) This place is a large converted park house so it is just one room - but a large room.

It also has a nice view of the meadow and if it is nice out, people can mill about outside.







So we have the second contender who also needs an outside caterer. In the next post I will show you how we made the final decision.

Countdown...

I will probably spend some time finding a better spot but for now there is a wedding countdown at the bottom of this page (as I type there is one year, one month, 27 days, two hours, 18 minutes, and 38 seconds until the start of the ceremony).

Coming soon the rest of the reception site hunt complete with a final selection.

Away...

I am away this weekend. I will be in Atlanta visiting my brother, B's cousin and going to the BC/Georgia Tech football game.

B is right - I am the best fiancee in the world.

The Deal...

Here is the IM chat after I decided to change the date...

B: you are the best fiancee in the world
5:46 PM me: iknow
B: I am really sorry
5:48 PM me: it is ok
better now than in april
B: I hope it pours rain on Nov 8
me: you better hope that it is as nice on our day as it is on nov 8
5:49 PM B: I know
me: and you lose some voting rights
B: ok :-(
me: like my vote is worth 1.25 and you are only .75
5:50 PM so basically i win
B: unless I vote twice
me: and you have to let me win at scrabble and boggle
until ND plays BC at home again
B: ok,

OK - The Story

Let me just say that moving the date was technically my idea. However, I was not enthusiastic about it.

Set scene: I at work preparing for a presentation to my new team. I email B about how nervous I am. The response is "BC is playing ND on 11/08/08. I am ok with it. I just wanted you to know." WTF?? He couldn't at least say "You will be fine" and then launch into the bad news. So I ask if the game is at BC. "Yes" replies. Crap.

As everyone has read, we just picked the date and the only sports thing we checked was the NYC marathon and expected World Series dates. B didn't think to check college football because the schedule is not set until the summer The one exception: the BC-ND series. These dates have been set for a few years now. So the two days of stress I just endured could have been avoided.

So after getting the email, I begin to panic. I was worried that we were getting married on a decent game weekend, not the most anticipated game at BC. So B tells me again that he is fine with it. And I suggest moving the wedding back a week. The date is meaningless to us so it is not a big deal. The problem is the annoyance factor. B suggests coming over to talk about moving the date. I email two-thirds of the vendors to see if they are free on the 15th. What is the point of talking about moving it? My thought was "Let's first see if it is possible and then decide." As I am contacting the vendors, I surprised at how I am handling it - much better than I imagine I would.

As luck would have it, all of our vendors are free on the 15th and no one had turned business for the 8th. We were able to keep all of the vendors we had booked and change the date with no costs incurred.

At this point in my relationship I have accepted B's obsession with sports, particularly the Mets and BC anything (we once went out to watch women's basketball while away for the weekend in NH). While I have accepted it at some level, it is an annoyance. I hate having to check sports schedules before I accept dinner/social invitations or make plans for us. And this is the ultimate example.

So now most of you may say why bother moving it. But knowing that all of his friends would be making comments about how they are not at the game (not just at the wedding but from now until years after) and then people would be checking phones for scores or trying to catch part of the game was also a factor. I just thought that if someone made a comment (even jokingly) about it on the actual day, I would probably cry. So instead of dealing with that or even just stressing out about the possibility of it, I moved the date. In the end it didn't cost us anything and now no one can complain about the game that they will miss that Saturday because it could have been worse.

Stay tuned...

Most of the details of the date change are forthcoming...